Stepping Stones

This morning in my meditation, as I once again sat at the feet of Jesus and felt His hand resting on my head, I found myself repeating the phrase, "Peace like a river" in my mind.  Soon I visualized a river flowing past me as I stood on the grassy bank.  I studied it and noticed stones, large and small, just beneath the surface near the bank.  Then I noticed that there were stones just beneath the surface all the way across the river to the other side.  Stones large enough to walk on.  I realized that I could use the stones to cross the river if I had to. 

The stones were not up above the water line, but just beneath the surface.  So if I were to cross, I would get my feet wet, but I could cross. 

That was my vision today.  The message is that yes, I may get my feet wet, but I CAN cross over to continue my journey where it leads. 

At Jesus' Feet

Today I try to meditate.  I don't really know how.  I sit quietly with eyes closed and try to clear my mind.  How do you clear a mind that won't stop?  I try simply listening.  I hear a motor outside.  I hear a plane overhead.  And I hear the loud ticking of the clock.  I try to concentrate on the ticking and try to move my hearing beyond the ticking to listen more deeply.  Not really working.

I try to think of only God.  How can I think of God?  The idea is too broad therefore too vague.  I don't know what he looks like, He is spirit.  How do you 'think of God'?  I try picturing the face of Jesus, to concentrate on that.  Too many artists, too many paintings, too many movies with too many actors.  I don't know what he looks like.  I can't picture a face I've never seen.  Not working.

I suddenly think of Jesus' feet.  I can picture his feet.  So I see myself sitting on the floor at Jesus' feet, with him sitting on a seat beside me.  I touch his beautiful feet.  His left hand is on my head.  I try to wait and see if I feel power coming from his hand.  Not yet, it just rests there. 

At some point he calls me "My child."  And then he says, "Speak, my child."  I begin to talk about his feet.  His beautiful feet.  How they carried him from town to town spreading the Good News, then all too soon trudged through the streets bearing the weight of his own cross, finally carrying him to Golgotha where they were nailed to that very cross.  For me.  For everyone. 

He says "Tell others."

I ask, "Whom shall I tell?" 

He says, "Whoever will listen.  Leave that to me."

                                                                            ............................

My Peace

My peace does not come from thinking that nothing bad will ever happen.
My peace comes from knowing that it will,
but that God will be present in the darkness, just as He is present in the light.
And that night is always followed by the dawn.
It just is.

I Don't Want To Be The Elephant

Mother Teresa once said, "In this life we cannot do great things.  We can only do small things with great love."  This idea gives me hope.  When I think maybe I am not "doing enough", I try to remember this. 

I am also aware that I have a very human tendency to draw my ego into the large picture of sharing the Good News of God by imagining that I will one day write a best selling book about God for which I will receive great acclaim.  Or that I will perform some noteworthy deed that draws public attention to me.  You may have heard the expression 'the elephant in the room'.  Well I am learning to get the elephant named ME out of the room. 

So the thought came to me today, that if I am able, by simple obedience, to shine His light on just one person -  someone who sees and receives that same light - perhaps that will be the person who is in a position to shine the  light to hundreds or thousands of others.  And I think that is a much healthier way for me to imagine my role. 

In the meantime, I will joyfully tell everyone of God's mercy and generosity.  I will not hold back from shining God's light on all I meet.  With the help of Jesus, I will shine in any small way I can, with great Love.

---------------------

The List

I pray for strangers on line at a prayer ministry web site.  I always ask for the Holy Spirit to help me with this, because often I find myself unable to focus as I should.  My own cares and distractions leak through the cracks in my concentration and I can only hope that God understands my human frailty enough to hear my prayers anyway.  Other times I really feel the power of God's presence and I am able to lose myself and lift up the needs of the people I am praying for.

Then every so often I come across a prayer request that kind of makes me smile to myself, and although I have taken a vow to "pray without judgment" on this site,  I occasionally shake my head a little.  Like today.  There was a request that listed, and I mean a numbered list, ten requests for their life.  That's not a bad thing, I kind of liked it because it helped me with my focus problem.  The person was following Jesus' instruction to pray specifically for what we need.  But as I neared the end of the list I did that little smile thing when I saw requests for "new cars" (yes plural) and big job promotions and houses (again plural). 

When I see things like that, I wonder if I am supposed to actually pray for those things exactly as requested.  I can't seem to do it.  Instead I find myself praying that God will provide for all the person's needs.  And I also pray for God's presence in their lives and a closer relationship with Him. The list just seems more like a child's Christmas wish list for Santa Claus than a prayer. 

So today I pray for wisdom in praying for others.  I pray that the Holy Spirit will indeed take over where I am at a loss to know how to pray.  I pray for compassion and mercy as I read the most intimate prayers of strangers, and I pray that we all come to be brothers and sisters in Christ, and pray for each other, lifting each other up every day into the Light of God's care and wisdom.
And I hope that's not too much of a list.

-----

Another Word

I said yesterday that my "one word" to focus on and live by in 2012 is balance.
Today I have another word to focus on.  I seem to need this word today.  The word is light.

I have been troubled by a nagging darkness in my mind.  Some sort of worry and dread.  I know it's job-related.  I fear I have not done enough. I fear trying something new.  I fear that I will disappoint.  I fear that I have blown opportunities with inaction.
I know that fear is wrong.  So today I will remember the word light.

I read a very helpful piece by Norman Vincent Peale today that reminded me of God's light.  God's light dissipates any kind of darkness we experience.  So today I will bring my fears out of the darkness and into the Light.  Please help me, Lord, to do this.
Thank you.

My Word for 2012

I recently read an article in Guideposts magazine by author Debbie Macomber that talked about choosing one word at the beginning of each year to "focus on and live by" throughout that year.   Some of Debbie's former words have been trust, brokenness, and hope. I had never heard of this practice, but since reading the article I have run across several more references to it, including author Julie Garmon, another Daily Guideposts contributor whose blog I have recently found.  She chooses a word too, and this year her word is surrender. (Ah yes, I know that one well.)  It seemed like a good idea to me.

 For 2012 I have chosen the word balance.  (Or it has chosen me.)

 I need to keep myself in check so that I don't run off in one direction for too long and with too great an intensity.  I sometimes get lost in a project, or internet search, or some sort of worry, or any number of other things and then find that I have used up too much of my time on that one thing, neglecting other equally important things.  So I need to balance out my days, and my concentration.

This really needs to be a conscious effort on my part.  In particular, I tend to neglect physical activities and instead pursue cerebral ones.  I neglect household duties in favor of creative pursuits. I put off personal contact with friends and family and stay inside my own head.  None of this is healthy, and I pray to God that He will help me with balance this year.

Lord, please teach me to balance work with play,
balance solitude with connection,
balance mental with physical,
and balance prayer with action.
In Jesus' powerful name, through whom all things are possible,
Amen